I’m not who I’m supposed to be, but…

I’m not who I’m supposed to be, but thank God, I’m not who I used to be. I look back over my life and think about the things I did, the things I allowed and I cringe and feel sick. My life was a mess, but God saw fit to keep me around and bring me through those times. I’ll be honest…I don’t understand why He did it, but I am grateful that He did. I don’t always live my life now like I appreciate Him saving me, but I really do.

I still make mistakes and get caught up in situations and with things that I know I don’t need to, but I’m human. The flesh is weak and Satan is always busy, preying on the weak. The key to everything is knowing your weaknesses and praying to God to be strengthened in those areas.

I am not proud of the person I used to be and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could turn back the hands of time and do things differently. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, that can’t happen. All we can do is learn from past mistakes.

My life is far from perfect now, but I am blessed beyond measure. My life really is a living testimony, even though I really don’t like to share my story with people who don’t know me. I’m always afraid that people will judge me or think less of me. I know, I know…I shouldn’t care what others think of me, but I do. Another human flaw! People can’t save me, only God can and He already knows me and knows my heart, so that should be really all that matters. I’m a work in progress.

I’m not who I’m supposed to be, but thank God I’m not who I used to be!