February 5, 2012

Trying to be God

There is a lot of uncertainty in my life right now, and I don’t know from one minute to the next what is going to happen.  One thing I do know is that I am not God, even though I try to be.  It’s not something I consciously do, but I am guilty of it.  Not one time, not two times, not even twenty times, but all the time.

I think I know what’s best for everyone, just because I read my Bible, go to church, and try to live the right kind of life.  I try to fix everyone and everything that I think needs fixing.  I’m always preaching “let go and let God”, but I don’t practice it.  I believe in the power of God, I really do, but I am a product of the “instant” generation.  I want instant results, and of course, I want the results to be what I want them to be.  I don’t give God time to handle the situation I pray so earnestly about.  And you know what, I make an even bigger mess of the situation.  I then go crying back to God, putting the situation squarely back in His hands, only to snatch it back yet again.  It’s a vicious cycle, one I can’t seem to break.

As I look at the mess that is my life, a mess of my own making, I am resolved to finally let go and let God.  I am done trying to shape and mold people into the person I believe they ought to be.  Just like I have my own quirks and idiosyncrasies (and hate to be called on the carpet about them), so do the people I want to change.  I can’t change anyone, especially a grown person, no matter how hard I try.  Only one person can bring about a change in a person and that is God.

Am I gonna screw it up again?  Probably.  I’m human and Satan is coming at me with both barrels.  He knows my weaknesses and he’s going to use them against me.  But I am going to stay prayerful keep forefront in my mind that I am not God.

Father God, I pray that you will forgive me for trying to assume the power that only You have.  Help me Lord to realize that no matter how good my intentions may be, I cannot force anyone to change.  Help me Lord to learn to wait on You, live for You, and trust in You to handle every situation that arises.  I ask this and all other things in the mighty name of Your Son Jesus, Amen.

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